09 October 2010

why i started this here blog: a money-making scheme

With certain exceptions - David Lebowitz, Chocolate & Zucchini - this is the level of English-language food-blogging going on here in Paris. And practically nothing focused on wine. This enterprising blogger - who I turned up in research for a post about a wine shop - has found a novel way to monetize her blog. Selling her services as a best friend!

Why didn't I think of this?!

Actually, I'm not really a top-notch, Grade A best friend. I'm way too critical. So the only way I'm ever going to compete with this Best Friend Donna character is by ruthlessly undercutting her prices. I know there is the risk of an Amazon-Walmart-style price war, wherein we'll both compete until we're offering free Tupperware parties and palm massages, but I'm willing to chance it all - to be your Best Friend On A Budget.

My rates will be as follows:

Flakey Best Friend: 100eu
This package includes a month's worth of loose commitments to meet for drinks, one of which I will fulfill. During these drinks I will talk only about myself, and my blog.

Parasitic Drinking Buddy: 50eu
This per-session package comprises one night of semi-serious drinking, at the end of which I will remain in the toilet until you pay the bill.

Vague Acquaintance: 10eu
I'll try to remember your name if you see me on the street. I might even make up a descriptive name for you that one day I'll accidentally let slip in conversation, such as "Soul Patch Dude."

Perfect Stranger: One drink
I'll size you up and decide you're not my type, or you have funny teeth, or you just seem a little too desperate.